Just a Little More Time

All I want is just a little more time to watch you closely, to look at your face, oh so carefully.

To watch your smile move to your eyes in record time, 

or notice your eyebrows raise in that playful way as I talk on and on about my day.

A little more time to rest in the warmth of your love.

A little more time on the porch swinging and singing, with your arm around my back and my head on your shoulder. 

More time in the back yard enjoying the fruits of your garden labor, pulling tomatoes from their vines or picking cherries for pies; grapes for jam. Or just to watch you prop your foot on the sturdy, weathered stump and take a look around at your place of peace…slowing the pace of time.

Just a little more time to linger on the old, metal glider and talk about life, love, and loss; to mull over today’s questions and tomorrow’s plans.

More time to walk briskly with you in the park; then slow our pace as you spot a hidden mayapple under a tree or point to the tiny bluets that tempt us toward summer. 

To find the place where wishes were made on wispy dandelions and hopeful smiles were shared along our favorite path.

More time to knead the dough, and roll out the crust, while puffs of flour and laughter are caught in the rays of sunshine from the kitchen window. 

More time to feel the gentle breezes flowing from your open transom and believe that all is right with the world again. 

A little more time to bask in your sacred love, to be the star in your world, and the light in your eyes. 

Just a little more time to appreciate the depth of your understanding, to hold on to your strength and feel complete acceptance.  

I need more time to gather all your hope, your insight, your kindness and all of YOU that will fill me full of bright promises and hope for tomorrow. 

I want more time with you…just a little more.

Time to ask the questions I never asked.

To tell you how much I loved every single part of you.

I see you everywhere…across the street, walking in that purposeful way of yours, in the library, in the check out line at the grocery. I try to catch up but it’s never really you.

I think I hear your voice as I doze off in my chair. I startle awake and listen with every cell I have. But the only sound I hear is the murmur of my own disappointed heart.

In my dreams I finally see you clearly…looking calm, untroubled… so whole. 

I watch, mesmerized as you glide toward me, smiling so confidently, so completely. 

I see you bend to relax on a bench in a garden. 

I watch as you tilt your head, pat the seat next to you, and smile at me once more. 

Somehow I know you are telling me all is well where you are, and all will be well for me until I sit beside you on that bench and hold your hand for all eternity. 

That’s truly all I want.